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New year… time for renewal.

  • Posted on February 3, 2012 at 10:52 am

I hope everyone is having a wonderful new year in 2012. I’m still keeping an eye out for those new Mayan Calendars at Costco. My old Mayan Calendar runs out this year so the new one’s should last a few more thousand years ;)

This year I am fine tuning my focus. My priorities for the next while are:

  • Spiritual health.
  • Physical health & vitality
  • Financial health
  • Building my private practice
  • Music / band.

I am also planning on blogging here on a MUCH more frequent basis. I’ll be posting stuff from random thoughts, to quotes that strike me, and just about anything having to do with living up to my renewed focus.

 

Confluence

  • Posted on March 8, 2011 at 8:11 am

I love rivers and streams, babbling brooks and waterfalls. I love listening to the sound of the waterways as they intertwine and merge. I imagine where each drop of this moving-churning-blending body of water came from: Perhaps some came from Egypt, others from Tunisia, still others from China, North Korea, The Congo, Israel, or Mexico. Sometimes I even imagine that these drops were not so long ago the moist evaporations from the brow of people there, people like me but with a different life, struggle, beauty, pain. This water we are all drinking (in one form or another) is a confluence of moisture from everywhere, from everything and everyone. When we drink we are drinking the world.

My spiritual teacher, Sant Darshan Singh Ji Maharaj, while speaking to my dear friend and former spouse, spoke about the currents and undercurrents that run throughout the waters of the earth. he spoke about how, while they come from various climates, various parts of the world, they are more similar than they are different. Likewise, he said, there are currents and undercurrents of humanity. While we have different ways of worshipping, different ways of celebrating, and different ways of expressing, we are more similar to one another than we are different. He elaborated about how many of the differences in religious practice or expression originated from a combination of regional, cultural, geographic and climactic variations… but in spite of these differences, the intent was the same. So why are we so divided? Why do we continue to focus on what makes us different when what we really need is to understand each other… to understand. When we truley understand another’s pain, another’s struggle, another’s joy and another’s passion, we are sitting in the confluence… that confluence is where we truly become one humanity… where the “M” in “me” becomes the “W” in “we”.

I have often found myself observing. Observing others in the world, in my community and within my circles of friends and family. I have often found myself imagining myself in their shoes, in their struggle, or in their joy. But even in my imaginings, I could never fully appreciate what made their life experiences so different from mine… but I struggled in my imaginings to contemplate these differences nonetheless. While I could not see that to which I was (and am) blind, in the process of imagining their lives, their struggles, their joy, I always discovered the very core of my self in them. I knew instinctively that at the very core, we are ONE and we are connected.

The struggle of our time is the struggle for human rights, the struggle for ALL of us. The struggle today is for freedom. Freedom from tyranny, oppression, bigotry and hate…. Just say NO to H8! However most of the time what I hear is “me me me me me”. Give me my rights, my freedom, it is MY life. When I attended the Immigration Rights march this past weekend, I did notice that, visually at least, the vast majority of people there were those who would be directly impacted by the recent immigration legislation. While I march in the Utah Pride parade, in the Utah Transgender March, and participate in other “rights” gatherings, what I find again is that most of us seem to be passionate about our own rights. Gay, Inc for example, seems to be almost exclusively fighting for the rights of white gays and lesbians. I say this because of the conspicuous absence of discussion about the struggles of the “B” and the “T” not to mention there is the conspicuous absence of discussion of the struggles of those who don’t experience white privilege. Am I seeing this correctly or are we that myopic and narrowly focussed? Is this because we just can’t see another’s struggle? Or is it that we don’t want to complicate our “human rights” battle with the silly details involving color, ethnicity, gender-variation, and non-binary sexual orientations?

To me it is sad to see that we as humanity, who drink the water which came from the foreheads of ALL, are focussed so narrowly on our own lives and our own struggle. What if we could change that? What if we could come together, seek to understand one another? What if we could create a confluence of humanity, where each of us is concerned for the others? For me, the answer is simple: Change the me into the we. Instead of focusing on my own struggle, pain, suffering, and drawing up my own list of complaints, I can broaden my scope, my horizon, and (like turning that frown upside-down) I can slowly turn that M into a W and focus on the We instead of just Me.

Welcome to my Journey

  • Posted on June 19, 2009 at 11:02 pm

Hi! I just created this blog on 6/19/2009 (late in the evening!). I have always wanted a place of my own to post my thoughts, write down my stories, share recipes, music and other things of interest to me. I also have wanted for a long time to start writing down stories from my life. My journey has been a very unusual one so far. I think there are stories to be shared.

Of late I have been reflecting on the past 2-1/2 years since I first came out as transgender and the years preceding those… and in fact have been reflecting back on my life. I am now at a point in my life where I can live freely as I am, without facade, completely authentic. I feel empowered as I have never been before. I have personal power that I have never felt before. I am grateful to God for granting me this freedom to be openly and honestly who I am, without fear or judgement, without shame or guilt (for what?). I am now aware that I was created this way, that I was meant to be who I am today, and that none of this is any kind of cosmic mistake or punishment. I am equal to all human beings. I take my place at the table of equality. We are all equal, the time has come for the world (the “all of us”) to realize this truth.

In just over one week it will have been 40 years since the Stonewall rebellion. We are fighting for our rightful place at the table of equality. WE know that we are equal. WE know there is nothing “less” about us. We know that someday soon we WILL overcome the tyrrany of bigotry. We are here at the threshold. We have been here knocking at the door for 40 years. We are not waiting 40 more years. Not even 4 years. Equality in all matters governed by civil law in all 50 states will be ours soon.

But while we are this close, there is still much to do. Even with Civil Equality, we still need to educate. There still are not very many who really understand much about what it is to be transgender, what causes it, and what treatments work and what doesn’t work. The science is there now. Unfortunately the misinformation is so widespread that a lot of work remains to educate people ahout the facts. People need to know that this isn’t just some made up thing that one day we woke up and “chose” to be Transgender or Lesbian or Gay etc. People need to know that there was never a choice for us, except the choice of when to come out of the closet. The only choice we have ever had is whether to allow ourselves to die at the hands of shame, guilt, socialised ostricization, self-loathing, fear, harassment, bullying, violence,  murder or suicide — or to choose life… to choose to come out and live, and to accept ourselves for who we truley are.