Joni's Journey My Journey to Authenticity, Love, and Enlightenment

I have been a part of or overheard several discussions lately which gave me pause to reflect on that last 2-1/2 years in which I have been in this community. The discussions were about sexual orientation.

I was at a party this weekend at a friends house. There was a mix of straight, gay, lesbian, and bisexual and transgender (FTM and MTF) people in the home. In one discussion, one of my friends says she is straight to which another friend repeatedly questioned their orientation, insisting that she is bi. My straight friend repeatedly answered that she is straight. Now whether either statement is true is not why I am here.

I also have overheard, read or been party to conversations where someone claims that some ally or another (or all allies?) are really closeted gay/lesbian/bisexuals). I and others have joked with some of our straight allies about their sexual orientation as well.

Joking aside, sexual orientation is a very personal thing. If someone wants to share that information with anyone else, that is there business… even if they ARE closeted. Even if I am joking with them or teasing in fun (and they know it), I take them at their word.

If you believe as I do, that being gay or transgender is not a choice, then neither is being straight. We are who we are. We come out if and when we want to and to whom. We have many allies thank God. They are involved either because of a friend(s) loved one(s), or out of the goodness of their heart. Some of them endure questioning from people in their families, churches, workplace, etc because some people either suspect their motivation or have some belief that they will be “recruited”.

I just want to ask everyone to stop and think a minute about the world in which our allies live. Think about who else is with them who may wonder about or question our allies motivation (are they in the closet) or who are afraid of being recruited (to be gay) or who are afraid of being molested (yes that happens!).

I am asking that we please stop questioning. Asking is OK. If they answer though then please accept their answer. Also, there is nothing hip about being gay or lesbian or bisexual that is not also hip about being straight or non-transgender/intersex/queer. It isn’t about sexual orientation, gender expression, or gender identity at all, it is about being who you are. We should celebrate any one of us who is being authentically who we are.