I’m having a very difficult time tonight. To be honest, for much of the last two days.
First, my sister insists that I “need” facial surgery in order to look like a woman. She says it is obvious to everyone but they just don’t want to say it to my face. I guess she spoke with everyone I have met in the last couple of years and recorded their feedback. I don’t know why did can’t just accept that I do indeed pass well… or agree that it shouldn’t really matter either. I mean, I can’t even afford anything right now, much less surgery. I can barely pay my bills. But I digress.
I also had the realization today that I need to disclose on my dating-site profiles that I am in fact a trans woman, specifically post op. And to try to get past popular ill-conceived notions about what that means I had to disclose VERY personal details about my genitalia. WHY??????? So that the women and men who read my profile can possibly get past their fucking trans-phobia and give me a fucking break.
So WHY is it that I have to disclose details about my surgery, about my genitalia to complete strangers? By the same token should they not have to disclose something THAT personal????? How avout current STD status? Huh? Don’t you think THAT may be important to know before you make a cannonball dive into bed with someone you barely know?
I do understand it to some extent but for me it is dignity lost. Nobody seems to think THAT’s important. Whatever.
Anyway I am having a very hard time dealing with this. I hope tomorrow is a better day.